6 Easy Ways to Get More Women Messaging You On Any Dating Site

By Dave M.




Discuss 17

Hey – Dave here.

Every week I get emails from men of all ages asking essentially the same question:

“How do I get more women responding to my messages, like NOW?”

Let’s face it, when you boil it all down, meeting women online is essentially a numbers game:

The more women you email, the more responses you’ll get, the more phone numbers you’ll get and subsequently the more dates you’ll get.

Make sense?

It’s obvious that if the number of emails you send increases, and the percentage of women who reply remains the same, then responses will increase. This is the most obvious way to get more results and its the first way most men try to improve their online dating results.

The Two Problems With
Sending More Emails:

The first, and obvious problem is that it’s time consuming to send out more emails, you’re essentially putting in more work to get the same results (just on a larger scale).

I don’t know about you, but me? I’m lazy…

I have no desire to sit there all day sending out emails and checking out womens profiles. I use dating sites to SAVE time, not add time (or a second job).

(I know, strange behavior for a guy who makes his living teaching men how to attract women online.)

The second, and least obvious issue is that there is no guarantee that the percentage of women who respond will remain constant. Yeah in a perfect world that would be the case, but lets be realistic here… maybe you’ve already emailed every attractive woman you’re interested in within your area… then what?

So what about increasing the percentage of women who respond?

Let’s talk about the concept of  “response focus” – which is a big “ah-ha” experience for most guys. Because most guys (and I’ll bet you’re one of them) want concentrate on sending out more emails first.

Well you’re about to discover why this is all wrong.

Using the example above, with a “response focus” – if the number of women who respond could be increased from 1 or 2 per week to 2 to 4, your results will have DOUBLED.

In fact, it’s amazingly simple once you see how it’s done.

How To Increase The % of Women
Who Respond to Your Emails?

Below I list 7 tactics which are so simple… so easy… and yet so amazingly-effective, designed to help you get more responses fast and without a lot of fuss.

1. PERSONALIZE – Try personalizing every message you send out using something from her profile. Women have a “B.S. detector” and can smell a generic copy and paste email a mile away. Even if you just use her screen name one time, make it personal.

Talk about her profile, let her know in some way that you actually READ her profile. This also gives you a good opportunity to bust on something IN her profile (which also shows her you’ve read her page).

2. COMPLIMENT – Compliment her on something you find interesting about her or her profile (you did read it, didn’t you?). One of  the best ways to get someone interested in you is to become interested in them first. You can mention something about her or her profile that intrigued you. I should mention the obvious for some of you knuckle heads: Do NOT compliment her on her physical appearance under ANY circumstances.

I have this 2 step method I use which does just that I call “ENGAGE & EXPAND” – Rather than tell you all about it, here’s a quick example:

To ENGAGE, you can say something such as:

‘I read you’re into _____ Thats really cool.’

Then you EXPAND on it by adding:

‘I’ve always been interested in _____, how long have you been into it?’

This is avery simple “under the radar” technique, but it’s VERY effective.

3. AN INTRIGUING SUBJECT LINE – What’s the very first thing a woman sees when you send her an email?

No, it’s not your photo, no it’s not your email… it’s your subject line. What you place in that subject line is critical to your email even getting open. If your email doesn’t get opened, all that time you spent to craft that killer email was all for nothing.

The subject line should create intrique and almost force the woman to want to open it… because it’s compelling. Women will tend to open emails if they’re more conversational in style and more personal, rather than generic, so write them like you’re trying to get your friends to open your email.

4. HOW TO ENSURE YOUR EMAILS GET READ – One thing I do almost all the time is to look through my inbox and see the subject lines which stand out to me. I suggest scanning through your inbox and ask yourself, which subject lines capture your attention IMMEDIATELY?

This might come as a surprise, but the best people in the world I know of as far as subject lines, emails and getting your messages opened and READ are SPAMMERS.

Not that I condone spam, I don’t and like most people, I can’t stand getting them, but these fuckers are so good at getting you to read their bullshit emails.

Here’s a few awesome subject lines I just found looking through my inbox:

too COOL…

this works 2 out of 3 times…

heads up

because you asked…


Re: you

In your subject lines mention something unique about her profile. For instance… If she’s into shooting pool, your subject could be something like:

‘[her screen name], think you can shoot pool?’

“pool shark?’

5. WHAT DO YOU SAY FIRST? – The first sentance is arguably the part of writing emails that most guys have the biggest problems with. If the subject is the most important part the message, then the 1st sentence is the most important part of the email itself.

The goal of your first sentence should be to grab her attention in a way that gets her to respond to you.

The trick is to write it in a conversational style… like you’re emailing a friend of yours. You can ALWAYS tell when someone’s sending a copy and paste email… because the email is usually very ambiguous and says nothing specific about that woman’s profile.

6. THEN WHAT? – You have an intriguing subject line, an inviting first sentance, used some humor in the email, and now you’ve got to seal the deal. This is where you need to insert a CTA. CTA just stands for ‘Call To Action’. Simply put, what do you want her to do as a result of reading that email?

Answer that question and you have your CTA.

I have a simple rule with each step in my system: Every step has only ONE CTA.

This is where most guys mess things up. They try to combine steps, doing too many things at one time, they give women too many options, or none at all …and …as a result they end up with ‘wood’.

At the end of your message, just tell her what you want her to do next, for example, you can say something like…

‘Read the email and get back to me…’

‘I’ll be looking for your response’

‘let’s see your answers to the questions…’

There you have it. 7 KILLER tips to help you get more replies from women online.

•  Click here to find out more about Insider Internet Dating

 Got any tips of your own? I wanna hear them…. comment below and I hope you enjoyed this post

Comment Rules: Remember what Fonzie was like? Cool. That's how we're gonna be -- cool. No bitching, whining, complaining, or negativity. No self-promotion or affiliate links. Critical is fine, but if you're rude, we'll delete your stuff. Please use your PERSONAL name or initials and not your business name and do not put your website in the comment text, as both come off like spam. Ask good questions, have fun and thanks for adding to the conversation!

17 Comments to 6 Easy Ways to Get More Women Messaging You On Any Dating Site

  1. All tips are also working here in Russia, thank you very much, friend!

    Comment by Egor — @ 4:23 AM

  2. anytime dude… and feel free to send over some of those gorgeous russian women… i’m sure everyone here feels so bad for you lol 🙂

    Comment by Dave M. — @ 6:42 AM

  3. That’s great for dating sites where a CTA is expected. But what about sites like Facebook where a girl might be single but not actively looking for a date…is the approach the same?

    Comment by Thomas — @ 9:26 AM

  4. Thomas… honestly dude… i’m too busy meeting women on dating sites to worry about using FB to meet women… its setup as a social networking sites, so your emails/communication should be a bit different since its not a “dating” site.

    Comment by Dave M. — @ 10:29 AM

  5. I have a tip that I’m surprised you didn’t mention. It doesn’t have to do with the email itself. Before you send any message to an attractive girl, you want to have an ATTRACTIVE profile because if she likes your email, she’s going to look at your profile to learn about you. say something on your profile that will intrigue her. Don’t write in the maximum amount of space just to try and say every little detail of your life story.

    let her learn about you but don’t say “if you want to get to know me, send me a message.” This screams, “I’m SO boring and have nothing interesting to say!!!”

    find a message somewhere in between the two to let her learn how exciting and fun you are and want to ask you questions to learn more.

    most importantly, you must have a decent profile picture. Don’t post just a picture of you alone. include at least one picture of you having fun with friends, but don’t make her play a game of “Where’s Waldo?” because she can’t see you in the crowd.

    Comment by Trevor — @ 11:17 AM

  6. Cool post Dave m…I like reading ur tips and advice it’s cool!.you know people with there email’s and they r your friehds too.Or the people that don’thave an email can actley can be dumm!.I think emails r cool!.
    Cause then i can read the persons email and who its from!

    Comment by Jack — @ 4:40 PM

  7. Hey Dave, Great stuff! I seem to have a problem getting ph numders from women or for them to commit to meeting for a drink…Those that are interested want to wait for the right time or get to know me more…This usually creates several emails back and forth and then it always fades out to no more response…How do I handle this my friend? You see i lack the ability to keep sending entertaining emails to them…Help!!

    Comment by John M — @ 7:00 PM

  8. John, why is it such an issue for them to *want* to meet you for a drink?

    Thats probably the bigger question to ask yourself. I’d think if you’re emailing with her, she would want to meet you.

    something you’re doing is making them react this way….

    and you shouldn’t feel the need to send entertaining emails… thats a whole ‘nother problem.

    Comment by Dave M. — @ 7:13 PM

  9. Hi Dave,

    Honestly your stuff is magic, I got your program and it’s working perfect. I tried the websites you recommended and I have met a lot of women online and I was getting 7/10 responses. however the hottest girls in my area are registered on FB but this hardly works there. I haven’t figured out what I’m doing wrong but it seems just like you said, FB is a social network and I should have a different approach. If you have any tips for that please let me know.

    Thank you tons man.

    Comment by Han S — @ 2:28 PM

  10. and by the way guys…personalize personalize and personalize, that’s the key 🙂

    Comment by Han S — @ 2:31 PM

  11. Dave, my comment above is as it states. You would be surprised if you saw my message history of how seemingly attracted the ladies are with me yet the emails drag on…Would you take a bit of your time to log into my account and see for yourself and possibly give me proper advice on how to handle my unique situation? I am at a loss…I have had responses of women incredibly turned on by me yet no meet…

    Comment by John M — @ 5:47 PM

  12. John, go to support after you loginto the members portal, fill out the form and it’ll get to me.

    Comment by Dave M. — @ 4:46 PM

  13. Dave, this blue print for sending emails is great. I can see how it will easily work. Good job man.

    Comment by Gregory B — @ 11:40 AM

  14. Hey Dave used some of your stuff and yep the key is to get them to read the mail. One of my subject lines is
    IVE GOT A QUESTION FOR YOU !!! . Im not going to tell you what I write next cos thats my killer email !! Lets just say that its along the lines of what do your friends think about you. I got 100% replies to my emails even if they were not interested they couldn;t resist answering.
    It was a challenge for them. To be honest I had to stop cos 4 dates a week was wearing me out !!

    Comment by Nige — @ 6:35 PM

  15. Hey Dave, by using your C&F technique I got several women to reply to my first email but then when I sent the second email, I did not get any reply further. My second email called for action in each case, but I do not see anyone responding to it yet. Not sure what I am doing wrong here. Some advice about the second email will be appreciated.

    Comment by Nate — @ 10:41 PM

  16. Nige, I would like to ask you to exchange some info about your technique. We live in different regions of the world, so that wouldn\’t have any impact on your environment. Please, send me a message at kamenvm@abv.bg .

    Comment by Newbie — @ 10:41 AM

  17. What should you do regarding your photos if you are not so handsome? Put less photos up, or put up some photos of you doing some outlandish things to take the attention off your looks. I’m 6 ft 2 inches and fit, but balding and somewhat plain looking in the face. I usually average about 3 responses per 10 emails sent. Of those responses about 1 end up in a date. Rarely do I receive unsolicited emails from women. I get compliments on what I have written in my profile. But my pics, man, I think they do me in…


    Comment by Wasabi — @ 11:24 PM

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