6 Easy Ways to Get More Women Messaging You On Any Dating Site
Hey – Dave here.
Every week I get emails from men of all ages asking essentially the same question:
“How do I get more women responding to my messages, like NOW?”
Let’s face it, when you boil it all down, meeting women online is essentially a numbers game:
The more women you email, the more responses you’ll get, the more phone numbers you’ll get and subsequently the more dates you’ll get.
It’s obvious that if the number of emails you send increases, and the percentage of women who reply remains the same, then responses will increase. This is the most obvious way to get more results and its the first way most men try to improve their online dating results.
The Two Problems With
Sending More Emails:
The first, and obvious problem is that it’s time consuming to send out more emails, you’re essentially putting in more work to get the same results (just on a larger scale).
I don’t know about you, but me? I’m lazy…
I have no desire to sit there all day sending out emails and checking out womens profiles. I use dating sites to SAVE time, not add time (or a second job).
(I know, strange behavior for a guy who makes his living teaching men how to attract women online.)
The second, and least obvious issue is that there is no guarantee that the percentage of women who respond will remain constant. Yeah in a perfect world that would be the case, but lets be realistic here… maybe you’ve already emailed every attractive woman you’re interested in within your area… then what?
So what about increasing the percentage of women who respond?
Let’s talk about the concept of “response focus” – which is a big “ah-ha” experience for most guys. Because most guys (and I’ll bet you’re one of them) want concentrate on sending out more emails first.
Well you’re about to discover why this is all wrong.
Using the example above, with a “response focus” – if the number of women who respond could be increased from 1 or 2 per week to 2 to 4, your results will have DOUBLED.
In fact, it’s amazingly simple once you see how it’s done.
How To Increase The % of Women
Who Respond to Your Emails?
Below I list 7 tactics which are so simple… so easy… and yet so amazingly-effective, designed to help you get more responses fast and without a lot of fuss.
1. PERSONALIZE – Try personalizing every message you send out using something from her profile. Women have a “B.S. detector” and can smell a generic copy and paste email a mile away. Even if you just use her screen name one time, make it personal.
Talk about her profile, let her know in some way that you actually READ her profile. This also gives you a good opportunity to bust on something IN her profile (which also shows her you’ve read her page).
2. COMPLIMENT – Compliment her on something you find interesting about her or her profile (you did read it, didn’t you?). One of the best ways to get someone interested in you is to become interested in them first. You can mention something about her or her profile that intrigued you. I should mention the obvious for some of you knuckle heads: Do NOT compliment her on her physical appearance under ANY circumstances.
I have this 2 step method I use which does just that I call “ENGAGE & EXPAND” – Rather than tell you all about it, here’s a quick example:
To ENGAGE, you can say something such as:
‘I read you’re into _____ Thats really cool.’
Then you EXPAND on it by adding:
‘I’ve always been interested in _____, how long have you been into it?’
This is avery simple “under the radar” technique, but it’s VERY effective.
3. AN INTRIGUING SUBJECT LINE – What’s the very first thing a woman sees when you send her an email?
No, it’s not your photo, no it’s not your email… it’s your subject line. What you place in that subject line is critical to your email even getting open. If your email doesn’t get opened, all that time you spent to craft that killer email was all for nothing.
The subject line should create intrique and almost force the woman to want to open it… because it’s compelling. Women will tend to open emails if they’re more conversational in style and more personal, rather than generic, so write them like you’re trying to get your friends to open your email.
4. HOW TO ENSURE YOUR EMAILS GET READ – One thing I do almost all the time is to look through my inbox and see the subject lines which stand out to me. I suggest scanning through your inbox and ask yourself, which subject lines capture your attention IMMEDIATELY?
This might come as a surprise, but the best people in the world I know of as far as subject lines, emails and getting your messages opened and READ are SPAMMERS.
Not that I condone spam, I don’t and like most people, I can’t stand getting them, but these fuckers are so good at getting you to read their bullshit emails.
Here’s a few awesome subject lines I just found looking through my inbox:
this works 2 out of 3 times…
because you asked…
In your subject lines mention something unique about her profile. For instance… If she’s into shooting pool, your subject could be something like:
‘[her screen name], think you can shoot pool?’
5. WHAT DO YOU SAY FIRST? – The first sentance is arguably the part of writing emails that most guys have the biggest problems with. If the subject is the most important part the message, then the 1st sentence is the most important part of the email itself.
The goal of your first sentence should be to grab her attention in a way that gets her to respond to you.
The trick is to write it in a conversational style… like you’re emailing a friend of yours. You can ALWAYS tell when someone’s sending a copy and paste email… because the email is usually very ambiguous and says nothing specific about that woman’s profile.
6. THEN WHAT? – You have an intriguing subject line, an inviting first sentance, used some humor in the email, and now you’ve got to seal the deal. This is where you need to insert a CTA. CTA just stands for ‘Call To Action’. Simply put, what do you want her to do as a result of reading that email?
Answer that question and you have your CTA.
I have a simple rule with each step in my system: Every step has only ONE CTA.
This is where most guys mess things up. They try to combine steps, doing too many things at one time, they give women too many options, or none at all …and …as a result they end up with ‘wood’.
At the end of your message, just tell her what you want her to do next, for example, you can say something like…
‘Read the email and get back to me…’
‘I’ll be looking for your response’
‘let’s see your answers to the questions…’
There you have it. 7 KILLER tips to help you get more replies from women online.