Internet Dating Mailbag: Critical Mistakes To Avoid With Women Online

By Dave M.




Discuss 4

Hey – hope you’re doing awesome.

Got some great questions (and even better answers) in this weeks internet dating mailbag…

Let’s roll…

Question From A Reader:

Dave… first off, great stuff.

I started off meeting this girl off of a gaming site playing chess. I consistently beat her every time and always was laying on the C & F.  Things picked up after a few chess games and she decided that she wanted to talk over AIM.

We did that for a while, caught her randomly for a couple of weeks, and then one night our conversation turned to sex.

I mentioned a few of my sexual conquests and did the best I could to exude as much confidence in my skills as was possible. One thing lead to another and I soon had her on the phone I think the next night.

We ended up doing the phone sex thing for a couple nights and since then she’s been sending me text messages (sms) on my phone all the time.

I’ve even suggested she come out to see me so we can experience all the stuff I’ve said over the phone, but in real time. She’s reluctant to make the flight from CA to CO. Do you have any suggestions on ways I could help to convince her that it would be ok?


P.S. I forgot to mention, she’s engaged but constantly tells me she can’t get me off of her mind.  I know, doesn’t help the situation does it?

My Comments:

Oh man… where do I begin…

Sam, you my friend suffer from a terrible disease we call “ONE-ITIS”

The first and obvious thing here is she’s ENGAGED… and (if thats not bad enough) she lives in ANOTHER STATE!

Can you hear me slapping my head over here?

C’mon man… you mean to tell me, you live in a town with only dudes and you can’t find a single chick who lives near you?

Of course you can.

Heck, I’ll bet you a corona that your chess girl has “man issues” and she’s using YOU to get her mind off of it.  You’re new, exciting and (this is the big one) FAR AWAY.

Sam… do you really think some girl is going to drop her fiancee, fly to another state to meet some guy she met online, while playing chess?

Highly doubt it. (Although though I just had a girl fly here from Tokyo Japan to meet me for a week)  it’s still highly unlikely.

Sam, she can’t get you off her mind because you’re not there!

If I were you, put the time into meeting women that are LOCAL.

I never cease to be amazed by situations such as this one.

Success Story:

Hi Dave, I love Insider Internet Dating! I changed my online profile & I am getting women to wink & email me now! My question is this, I have a woman who when I went to email #2 & asked for her phone#, she replyed with:


This is Lara, and you need to leave your # since I’m busy
with my daughter Haley and do date when i can for dinner
and a good funny movie. I’m sure your dating also?

Yes love to laugh.

Smile always, Lara ”

She is playing a power game where she is trying to control everything, right from the start. What should I do?

I was thinking of just giving her my # & trying to take back the power with changing the date back to something lighter like coffee, with no movie. Maybe she wants a real date, because of her daughter & she has to get a sitter, for anything weather it be for a half hour or 3 hours?

What is your advice for dating this woman? Just so you know, She is 32, athletic, maybe Jewish & a former model (she lists herself as “Extremely Attractive”),  I am 42, short, and Asian (so I am loving all of your great advice).

Thanks for all the advice, I find myself going over & over the program to get it to sink in… for me it takes time, I understand it, but I never used to think like this about dating so it has been a internal struggle to free my mind of all of the bad advice that I believed was true.


My Comments:

Aaron, congratulations for getting women messaging you and thanks for the compliments.

I’m glad to see you love IID. (not surprised though – the program works).

You actually have an easy situation to deal with.

I should tell you that there is a “cut and paste” TEMPLATE for this exact situation in the program, since you already have it, I’m going to also give you another perspective on this.

First do NOT give her your number.

It’s a test.

You do that and you’re done with this girl, not that you should really worry about any one particular woman at this point… but still…

Something to keep in mind… what she looks like and does isn’t important.

You see, once you start assigning a “value” to a woman because of her looks, psychologically you’re putting her on a pedestal.

Heck, you might not even realize you’re doing it, but you are.

This is a bad WUSS habit you’ve learned along the way.

At this point, the best way to approach this is to do is think of her as a woman you’d like to get to know better.

Thats all.

No more no less.

Doing this helps you to NOT care  and be unattached to the outcome.  You sent her an email asking for her number and she doesn’trespond to it. To me, that says that her interest isn’t as high as you might believe it is.

If she was THAT interested in you don’t you think she’d give you her number?

Don’t you think she’d WANT to?


Of course.

You can send her something like:

“hey troublemaker 🙂  ya.. I’m super busy too…
if you’d like to talk, leave me your mobile and
I’ll call you when I get some time free.”

When you DO pass a woman’s test, she will respond by instantly being magnetically attracted to you in a way you’ve never seen before.

And you’ll build sexual tension.

What we’re doing in this email, is NOT reacting to what her email said.

Consider this… a reaction is a response to something you DON’T like.  So, when you react to what she’s saying, she knows she won that little battle. She tested you and won.

Game over.

By not even mentioning anything about her email she is realizing she can’t get to you like she does the other guys.

Now… the flip side… what happens if she doesn’t give you her number?


Who cares?

There’s SOOOO many women out there who are dying to meet you.

Great job. I expect more success stories from you in the future. You hear me?

Question From A Reader:

What do you talk about when you get her on the phone?

S.R. from philly

My Comments:

Philly in the house!

Great question.

I tell her to come over…. Wait …my watch is like 30 minutes too fast.

Just messin’ with ya.

Actually, I ALWAYS start off talking about how odd it is calling some random girl I met off the internet.

We laugh about that for a bit and share some “odd” stories.

Then I just start talking about why they got on the site…. experiences.. etc.  It’s really easy once you break the ice.  It’s just overcoming that first minute or so, then once you get going, you’ll get into the flow.

Now keep in mind, some women you will click with right away, thats always a good sign.  Others you don’t, but don’t worry… sometimes the girl is just as nervous as you are!

One of the biggest complaints women have is that a lot of guys sound like morons.  Like they have no brain or aren’t interesting.

Don’t forget, what’s your reason for being on the phone with her?

Its important to have a goal in mind, otherwise you’ll end up talking for 4 hours and really showing her you’re desperate and needy.  For me, I want to see if she’s a cool, normal, fun chick.  IF so, then I’ll meet up with her.

Question From A Reader:

Does the age a woman specifies she is looking for in a date really matter?

Also, when you see profiles that have a lot of “tell you later” or just “any” is this a sure sign that this isn’t a real profile. I’ve found that for the most part these are just fronts for webcam sights and internet porn sites. Any input or info? Thanks for the material and the help. Love the newsletter!


My Comments:

Bill, thanks for your question.

Ok… does the age she’s looking for matter?

I’d say MOST of the time no.  Keep in mind, in cities like L.A. Miami and N.Y. Its common place to see older guys with HOT younger women and it might not be the case in other places.

Consider this…

Lets say a woman gets emailed by this good looking guy driving a Ferrari but he’s a bit older than her age range. If she’s interested because of the “status”, the car or whatever the thing is at that point, the age doesn’t matter.

You follow me?

Yes, some women will only date within their specified age range  — no matter what.

BUT… there are a LOT of women on dating sites that just need YOU, the man to create intrigue… just enough so that they’re interested.

Once she’s interested and attracted, the age really doesn’t matter.

As far as the webcam stuff, look at the profiles in question, they usually use very similar wording and they read like someone from europe wrote it. (for example, I don’t know many americans who go to the cinema – we use movies)

If she’s THAT hot or the photos are pretty revealing, then make sure you investigate the profile.

Bottom line?

Go with your intuition if you’re not sure at that point.

Success Story & A Question:

Hi Dave, I have being using your techniques on putting an interesting ad for attracting females to respond and it is working quite well.

Here’s my problem. After 4 to 6 dates in a period of 3 weeks, I always get the same excuses from the girls i’m interested in but won’t date me anymore: I’m too mysterious, I don’t talk enough about of what I feel.

Don’t get me wrong, I do ask a lot of questions to keep the conversation going and I’m interested in knowing her. But they say I don’t talk a lot about my self.

I reply by saying “Just ask any question about myself and I will answer”. Still, they say i’m vague and give short response and this confuses me.

If I say things about my feelings i’m too predictable and boring to them and if i’m mysterious and say almost nothing (bare minimum) i’m not attractive to them. How should I be the next around, should I be still mysterious or be more open?


My Comments:

I love this question.

First, I’m glad you’re getting success with the insider stuff you’re learning. Great to see you take the information and run with it. You mentioned something that really made what the problem is VERY obvious.

This problem that you complain of is more common than you might think.

Can anyone else see it?

He said: “I ALWAYS get the same excuses….”

That means you KEEP doing the same thing wrong.

Well, it’s obvious to me that the OBVIOUS answer is somehow escaping you.


Hello? Is anyone home?

If you keep noticing that you’re making the same mistakes or getting the same responses, then realize that somewhere in your SEQUENCE you are messing up.

So what is that “thing” that you’re doing wrong?

You’re TOO mysterious – for too long.

I guess you didn’t get the part about the “being mysterious” where I say that you need to slowly reveal more about yourself as time goes on.

Little by little.

You can always turn the tables on THEM. One thing youcan do is to tell them the same thing they’re telling you, or, you can respond with a VERY exaggerated response.

Let me give you an example:

GIRL: So what do you think of us  (This is a test, to turn you into a wuss)
YOU: Well, I look pretty good, as for you?  I think you’d look much better if you came over here and kissed me.

See what I just did?

I took her question and totally reframed it in a way that makes me look like a challenge … and then managed to turn it into me getting a kiss.

It shows confidence.

It shows you’re a challenge.

In the long run, I think you just need to SLOWLY reveal more to them this way they WANT to know more and more about you.

Allright, well this has been a fun mailbag…

…And if you haven’t taken the opportunity to watch my free presentation “Insider Internet Dating: The Automatic ‘Cut and Paste’ Attraction System”, then click here take a few minutes and watch it now. It’s an awesome video, and you can learn the key to attract the women you’ve always wanted.

It’s not only possible. It’s already there… just waiting for you to go grab it.

• Click Here to watch the free Insider Internet Dating presentation

…Watch it now.

Talk soon,


I’d love to hear your comments below

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4 Comments to Internet Dating Mailbag: Critical Mistakes To Avoid With Women Online

  1. Ive had the I.I.D. program for some time now and have to admit that it really delivers the goods. David M. really knows how to infuse that David DeAngelo type of Cocky and Funny frame with a solid alpha inner game into his emails and online profile. I first discovered the seduction community in 2003 when I stumbled upon the David DeAngelo website and shortly thereafter found out about David M’s IID program…These days there are many other Online Dating Seduction programs claiming to get you the hottest women online and I have tried many of them….I have to say that IID is one of the first and the best programs out there that gets you killer results if you implement the techniques properly and closely follow David M.s advice. Keep Sargin…

    Comment by GuidoLover69 — @ 5:48 PM

  2. Thanks dude!

    Comment by Dave M. — @ 2:18 PM

  3. Hey Dave & guys,

    Using IID, here is my statistics, please give me some info about your success rates because I feel that I still have to improve my game alot! So of 100 women I send a first email out 10 will write back with telling me something about themselves (good) or giving me “Thanks, but no interest”, another 5 will reply on the second “Are you accessing the internet from a public library?” email. So overall I will ask 10 for their number and get ~ 3 numbers back and meet 1 or 2 of them (out of the initial 100). What’s your take on the ratios? I’d be really interested how you guys are doing!

    Best regards,


    Comment by Fred — @ 6:19 PM

  4. Agree that the guy should really find someone local. She is not going to give up her fiance.

    Comment by luke — @ 4:25 PM

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