The “Wuss Signal” Women Online Notice Instantly

By Dave M.




Discuss 15

Hey there, it’s Dave here, I hope you’re doing great.

We have to talk. Like, right now.

Ok – listen to me on this one:

There’s one thing you can send a woman online that pretty much guarantees you WON’T get a response. It’s something a lot of these idiot “experts” tell you is a good way to break the ice.


I call it a “Wuss Signal”.

Well, first off… it’s not an email.


It’s not an (IM) Instant Message, no… it’s something much, much worse… something most sites let you do for free: The dreaded… “wink/tease/flirt.”

Today, I want to talk about a subject I hear from hundreds of guys a month about…

“Is it ok for me to send a wink/tease/flirt, INSTEAD OF sending a woman an email?”

Are YOU guilty of sending these to women online?

At first glance, it seems like a great idea, doesn’t it? Just fire one of these pre-made messages to as many women as humanly possible, then sit back and wait for the flood of messages, right?


Well, it may seem that way at first glance, but let’s get a little deeper into what ELSE you’re saying when you send these to women online.



… Unless you want to get no replies.

After you read this… in the comment section below…. I’d love to hear what your experiences are with using (winks/teases/flirts)

NO! You will not meet hot chicks online if you’re sending winks/teases/flirts instead of emails.

Most guys *think* these winks/teases/flirts are good to send to women online, but nothing could be further from the truth.

Let me explain why.

Here’s the simple fact of the matter. You must convey confidence to women online. It’s a *must* if you want to hook up with women online on demand.

Think about this for a second, how can you be confident when you’re too scared to send the woman an email?

The risk of being rejected is so powerful for these guys and creates such fear that you decide to just take the “easy way out” and hope SHE takes control and makes the move, (which pretty much assures you of failure)

In fact, sending a wink makes you come off like you’re a scared WUSS.


The free communications on dating sites don’t work. Anyone who says they do is as full of crap as a stuffed turkey.

Listen …I want you to think about something here.

Don’t you think there’s a reason online dating sites let you send winks/teases/flirts for free?


Because they have a proven LOW RESPONSE RATE!


Point proven.

I’ve been using dating sites for years to hook up with women and I’ve NEVER had any success using them. If you wanna meet women, you gotta email them. Period. I’ve had as many as 197 new messages sittting in myPOF account and I’ve never used any ‘winks/teases/flirts’.

In fact, here’s a screenshot i took from my pof acount this morning. I just turned IID “on” 2 weeks ago after not being on the site for about 6 weeks and look at the results below.

Not bad right?

Let me put this into perspective for you…. there are 10 messages per page x 16 pages of messages. For all you math wizards, thats 160 messages… on one dating site Just from sending some ‘copy and paste’ emails. Do you know of anyone who can match that? I don’t think so.

And let me tell you… having this many women to chose from will make your life VERY interesting. 🙂

The big takeaway here is this: Free communications on dating sites don’t work too well, otherwise the sites would charge you to use them (just like they charge you to send messages), so don’t be a knucklehead and send them.

3 Reasons Why Men Send “Winks/Teases/Flirts”

1. You don’t understand exactly what turns women on.

2. You are afraid of rejection.

3. You don’t know what SHE’S thinking, so you hesitate.

And in the end, they all share just one thing in common…

You guessed it…

It’s FEAR.

They’re AFRAID of rejection.

A lot of guys get nervous at just the *thought* of emailing an attractive woman.

They’re afraid they won’t know what to say, or get tongue-tied.

They’re afraid they’ll get humiliated.

They’re afraid they’ll be insulted, laughed at and mocked.

So…what DO these guys do instead?

They send women winks/teases/flirts.

When you send these to women online, this is pretty much exactly what’s going through her head:

“WHAT? This guy wants ME to make the first move? Is he nuts? If he’s interested, then HE’ll contact me.”

Thats what’s going on in a woman’s mind.

I’m totally serious.

How Do I Know?

I managed to interview over 1,000 women that I’ve spoken to online.

Here’s what several women have told me:

“honestly, its an easy way to screen men because the confident men will never send you a wink. Some men wink to let you know they looked at your profile, and liked something that you said, or they think you’re good looking….  I personally have the winks turned off… guys that send winks are too lazy to send you an e-mail and are hoping YOU will! Gets old fast!

I had to turn my winks off……Lost count of how many I would get a day. If a guy sent me a wink, I am more likely to judge him based on looks, rather than an email where you can actually get to know someone, but I tend to think they are too chicken to make contact and hope that you will. Most of the guys sending me winks are just such a bunch of pussies!”

“I set mine profile up not to accept winks because I think they are usually just going through profiles, on a winking spree and winking at every profile he comes across and not even reading the profile. That was my experience anyway. I also want to see if they have any communication and/or social skills so prefer that they have to send an email.”

There you have it, straight from the horses mouth.

Need I say more?

You gotta man up, grow some balls, take control and show just how confident you are by NOT sending women winks/flirts/teases.

I don’t want to bullshit you…


They’re a waste of time for men to send, BUT they’re great for women to use to show you that THEY are interested (because as we all know, women communicate indirectly, and many will opt to send you a wink/tease instead of messaging you first.)

Oh, by the way …


What Do You Do If A Woman Sends YOU A Wink?

If I get a wink/tease/flirt from an attractive woman, I’ll send the following message to her:

“thanks for the (wink/tease/flirt)…. Are you shy? :)”

Feel free to model this at will 🙂

See how that works?  EASY.

It’s short, simple and playful.

You can actually use this information NOW and start seeing results.

Enjoy 🙂

(Btw, In Insider Internet Dating I show you a sneaky technique and word-for-word messages you can use to get women to qualify themselves to YOU when they send you a wink/flirt/tease that gets them chasing YOU.)

I hope you enjoyed this post.

Have an awesome day and I’d LOVE to hear your comments below 🙂

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15 Comments to The “Wuss Signal” Women Online Notice Instantly

  1. Hey Dave, great info!

    Would you say that adding a woman to your “Favorites” on PoF is like a “Wink”, and shouldn’t be done?

    Comment by Dave Stewart — @ 11:01 AM

  2. Hi Dave, cool info!

    Actley if u have the persons email u will NOT get rejected.(:

    Comment by Jack — @ 1:21 PM

  3. Hi Dave. First of all, I have to admit that your info is really very useful, not just for men who got no idea about how to attract women, both off- and online. I’d like to share my story with you, which you may find interesting. It was the one and only time when I sent one of those winks, and it was even on You might want to add Reason #4 Why Men Send “Winks/Teases/Flirts”, which would be… You don’t have a credit card, and your only way of communication would be adding this fact in your profile and hoping that she reads it and gets the point. This story happened around 7 years ago. I set up my profile to be different, but didn’t have a credit card, so I knew my only way was to add this fact there, send winks and hope that the women wouldn’t be “too busy” to even check my profile. While checking out the many profiles I found one that caught my attention, a young woman from Mexico. I live in Switzerland, but I thought I could at least try, since I didn’t take this too seriously anyway. I didn’t have any big hopes or expectations. The interesting thing was that she wrote me, saying she got the point and that she would find my profile to be really interesting. She even sent me her “cloaked” real e-mail address for easier contact. What followed were a few e-mails back and forth… and one full year of intense hour-long chat sessions. She even used a webcam whenever it was possible. After a full year has passed one of us was finally able to visit the other, which was her. She came to Switzerland, all the way from Mexico. She was here for 3 months, but the relationship ended, mainly because it was more important for her to pursue her goals related to a professional career. She was the first love of my life. I just had to share this with you, because it shows that everything is possible. Of course I see internet dating differently today, mainly thanks to you, Dave. And I completely agree that you should never send any of those winks, unless you have the same problem I had. But these days it’s much easier to get a credit card, and even if you can’t get one, you can at least get a debit card, which would work too. I now have a debit card, which I mainly use online, and it’s being accepted everywhere. I hope you like my story… although I wouldn’t recommend trying this yourself. Dave, I’m looking forward to order Insider Internet Dating soon, since I realized how much online dating has changed. Thanks for your attention. Take care and best wishes everyone.

    Comment by Dennis — @ 2:53 AM

  4. Dave

    I don’t really agree. A Woman will dismiss you on looks as fast as a Man will, and if she likes what she sees, she will communicate to a wink. I’ve had many responses that led to dates from winks, and limited response to emails, and I have tried every format imaginable. If she doesn’t feel a attraction based on your picture, it doesn’t matter what you write..It’s way too competitive and there’s always someone hotter around the corner.


    Comment by Brian — @ 9:23 AM

  5. Just thought I’d fling this into the mix – I’ve had a relationship with 2 different women that I met online. Both said the same thing – they get about 100+ messages practically every day and they don’t have time to go through all the messages, let alone look at the stupid winks as well. Both said that they probably only read about 20% of the messages so all the “boring” messages get deleted along with the winks.

    Comment by Jo — @ 10:31 AM

  6. Yes,maybe winks are a bad idea.However,on paid sites it cost money to send e-mails.This may be okay,if you are getting responses to your e-mails.However,in many cases,you do not.

    Comment by James — @ 10:43 AM

  7. Good point Dave, I never send winks either, I sure do get alot, mostly I screen them out, with over 1300 women on my friends list on only one site, unless they request friendship and send me an email, I don’t have time to speak to them all.

    Comment by Jacques — @ 2:47 PM

  8. Hi Dave, you have also “contra” technique for subscribers (tsss….)
    Ok, here is what I am doing… it’s hard to imagine that person with my profile & pictures doesn’t have credit card 🙂
    I send winks. Some replies “Thanks. but…” (by clicking “Not Interested” button) – and I notice they didn’t even check my profile – and I use the same subject line “Thanks, but…” and reply with “You need a “nice guy” not me” – really ball busting. And I see they are checking my profile after that, then another one from me “What’s wrong with you, are you shy?” “Staring at cute guys” and etc.
    “Ball Busting” is main idea… wink, add to favourite, message, another one, till she will reply; and some women reply AFTER A MONTH so be patient, one week delay between each action. I even have messages (after a month) “you added me to favourite but never wrote me… mey be xxx xxx xxx is a deal breaker for you? I want to know”


    Comment by Freddie — @ 6:42 AM

  9. Ok, I recalled, you did call it “low hanging fruits”. No winks anymore 😉

    Comment by Freddie — @ 6:45 AM

  10. @freddie

    Freddie how long does it take for them to respond or look at your profile after adding them to favourites would you suggest to bust on them after a few days if they don’t look at your profile?


    Comment by Glenn — @ 9:35 AM

  11. I never have nor ever would, the guy who disagrees with you, maybe he got lucky, once:(

    Comment by Brian — @ 2:28 PM

  12. Okay but you actually have videos and info in the product you still currently sell telling guys what a great trick you have on using winks on sites like So you’ve changed your stance on winks now?

    Comment by Tim — @ 8:15 PM

  13. @tim… dude… whats inside IID in wink magic is very different than this and I explain exactly why in the video. Sounds like you might wanna watch it again. 🙂

    Comment by Dave M. — @ 10:52 AM

  14. well … i don’t know. you always say not to work too hard. seems like a wink would certainly be the way to put no work into it at all. seems to me like a way to see if there’s any reason to even send an email. on the one hand, i understand that she’s getting a million of them but on the other hand, if she gets one from someone she finds interesting she’ll simply wink back indicating interest and then it’s on. i sent a wink to a woman, she winked back, THEN i sent the first email, we emailed, we talked, we met, and we were together for 4 years … i’m just sayin’ …

    Comment by steve — @ 1:56 AM

  15. @Steve… she’s getting 50+ messages a day, unless you look like brad pitt, those winks aren’t going to get her attention.

    There’s a reason the dating sites make them free. 🙂

    Comment by Dave M. — @ 6:45 PM

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