This Little Known Mental Hack Attracts Women For You

By Dave M.




Discuss 16

Here’s something you might not know about me.

I have a pretty diverse taste in music… in my itunes account, you’ll find everything from Dave Matthews and Led Zeppelin all the way to house music, NWA and cypress hill. (I’m actually listening to house music from swedish house mafia as I write this.)

Heck, I even have a few tunes from Notorious B.I.G. in there as well.

Which is why it caught my attention this morning when I heard some guy on TV talking about the Notorious B.I.G movie…

Anyways, in it, P. Diddy… then known as ‘puff daddy’ says something to Biggie that totally illustrates why he’s been so enormously successful.

I wish more guys out there could have this level of confidence in themselves.

Here’s what Puff Daddy says…

“You could drop me off in the jungle, buck naked, and when you come back to get me, I’ll be wearing a chinchilla coat, a leopard hat, and I’ll be ten pounds heavier from eating them.”

Now, forget the whole “killing animals” thing and look at the level of positive self-expectancy in his comment. (also, put your personal feelings of P. Diddy aside and look at the lesson here.)

Think About P Diddy’s Comment For A Moment…

He completely and utterly believes in his ability to become a ‘winner’.

He believe in himself and wholeheartedly believes he will conquer his circumstance.

He completely EXPECTS that he will come out on top, no matter what the situation is he’s faced with.

This really caught my attention because it illustrates one of the lessons I learned years ago from Dennis Waitley, while going through the Psychology of Winning.

A critical… CRITICAL… characteristic of all high achievers is the positive self-expectancy in the achievement of their goals.

(this is one of the smaller steps you’ll master as part of the Insider Internet Dating system.)

They believe completely that they WILL achieve their goals, that things WILL turn out good for them.

For most of us, an attitude like this with women doesn’t come naturally.

For most, it needs to be learned and reinforced.

“Failure to hit the bull’s eye is never the fault of the target.
To improve your aim – improve yourself.”

– Gilbert Arland

How Do You Begin To Have an Attitude of
Positive Self-Expectancy in Your Own Life?

Well, step one is to become aware of the negative things you may be telling yourself about your goals with women. Strive to stop feeding yourself negative thoughts about the likelihood of a positive outcome with your goals and ambitions.

And, instead, start telling yourself… over and over, if necessary… that you WILL figure out a way.

…That you WILL get it done…

…That you WILL come out on top…

…And that things WILL turn out well for you.

This is exactly the mindset I adopted when I was struggling with women. Back when I first started,  I was your typical AFC (average frustrated chump), too scared to approach women, making every excuse why I shouldn’t… and telling myself every reason why the chick wouldn’t like me.

I made every single boneheaded mistake in the book (and invented a few new ones), spent many nights frustrated and wanting to bash my head against the wall… met some of the weirdest chicks ever from some of these sites.

I didn’t even know anyone who was really great with women, so it’s not like I had someone I could watch or learn from, I had to figure this all out on my own.

And yet I still knew deep down inside that no matter how bad things were, no matter how many times I screwed up, I was going to be successful with women… I knew I would be able to figure it out… I just didn’t know *how* or *when* it would happen.

What a difference a few years makes…

That said, in the last few years that I’ve been teaching men to become more successful with women online, I’ve had to accept the harsh reality that most men will NEVER get the kind of high-quality women that they dream about.

Any ideas why?

Well, here’s the surprising reality: it’s NOT for the reasons you probably think. One of the biggest reasons why most guys don’t have the success they really want meeting women comes down to ONE thing…

And it has nothing to do with confidence, attraction, routines, pick up lines, openers, NLP, SS, C+F or any of that stuff.

Oh no.

In fact, you can buy every “gurus” program, take every single bootcamp out on the market, memorize every routine ever created, and STILL get nowhere with women.

The one thing that holds most guys back is…


Most guys see women, beautiful women as more superior to them. (As one of my buddies Will likes to say, they’re putting the “Poon on a pedestal”). Whats even crazier is that these are guys who are doctors, lawyers, maybe driving a Ferrari, or Porsche… or make a million dollars a year.

Guys you’d THINK would have everything they need to attract beautiful women — but sadly, they end up acting nervous, babbling when they speak and freeze when they’re around these women.


Wrong mindset.

They don’t have the same level of positive self expectancy as P Diddy or Naturals have. (or if you’re talking to my buddy Will, he’ll swear to you it’s cuz they’re putting the poon on the pedestal.)

All the tactics and techniques are great, but the real key to success, lasting success specifically, starts and ends with how effectively you are able to control your mind.

Of course any guy can hookup with a woman every now and then – commonly called “getting lucky”,  but lasting success is what really counts at the end of the day.

You have to have the mental skills to deal with all the shit you’re gonna go through, the obstacles you’re going to face, and the self-doubt that will inevitably come up.

You have to have the right mindset to stay on track because there are so many distractions.

One thing that always amazes me when I hang out with NATURALS and other guys who are good with women is they take believe beyond a shadow of a doubt they will have success in each interaction, that they are the “prize” and nothing bad can come of it.

And one thing they NEVER do… is put the poon on a pedestal.

They treat women just like they would any regular person… if anything they’re treating women they way you would treat a bratty, little, annoying sister.

If you’ve never been around guys who are amazing with women, its definitely an eye opening experience because they don’t see things like the rest of the guys out there do.

These guys are living the lives most men only fantasize about, and its not because they’re rich, drive fancy cars, look like brad pitt or anything remotely like that.


In fact, I’ve recently become friends with a natural who gets laid more than anyone I’ve ever (way more than any PUA’s I’ve met)… Every time we’ve gone out, he’s gotten anywhere from 5-10 phone numbers… and he doesn’t have 2 nickels to rub together… as in he’s dead broke, and usually unemployed.

He’s got a shaved head… bad breath… no style… knows nothing about any PUA techniques… and get this… his “date night” is every Wednesday night, because thats when all the local bars/clubs have “Ladies Night” and he doesn’t have to pay for drinks lol. (not that he could).

If you strip it all down, what makes ‘it’ happen is very simple…

They Believe They Are Going to Have Success with Women

They have a very high level of positive self-expectancy.

This guy, just like every other natural believes he can go out at anytime and have success with women. It doesn’t matter that he’s broke… it doesn’t matter that he doesn’t have one piece of nice clothing.


He knows he can meet women anytime he wants. If one woman doesn’t like him, who cares? she’s not the right fit for him… he moves on and keeps going… because he knows eventually he’s gonna score.

That’s it. It really is that simple. It might not be easy, but it is really, really simple.

Got it?

These guys focus on what they want, have a very high level of positive self-expectancy and take action towards their goal. And it is a huge, critical step.

So ask yourself. Day to day, do you have that same level of positive self-expectancy as P Diddy or as Naturals have? Are your thoughts helping you move towards your goals and if not, what needs to be done to get there.

Once you have the right mindset, then you have focus.

And focus (along with taking action) is the thing that will give you the life with women you’ve been dreaming about.

Now it’s your turn. In your comments below, tell me what kind of things can you do to increase your level of positive self expectancy to have more success with women?

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16 Comments to This Little Known Mental Hack Attracts Women For You

  1. This article alone has inspired me to get off my fat backside, stop masterbating and go out and get some real pussy!

    Comment by Richard — @ 12:05 PM

  2. Thats it! No more Brazzers, Bangros, pornhub crap, out to get some real puntang!!! Great article.

    Comment by Richard — @ 12:07 PM

  3. Yo Dave,

    You da man!

    Dude — you hit it right on the head. It’s all about expectancy and that mindset = your mind saying the rights things that draw you toward the positive outcome, not pulling you away from the wrong outcome.

    I’ve always said — whatever your self-talk projects is what you’ll get. So change that self-talk or that dialogue in your mind and whammo — instant glory.

    Point in fact. I’m just going through a divorce after 12.5 years and now out on the open market (free agent status) – ha!

    Still don’t even have the divorce decree in hand yet!

    So feeling like I was pretty much healed and ready for some female companionship, I was set to get ready to go fishin in the deep blue sea and get my P. Diddy on as soon as I came back from a cruise with my daughter.

    I figured — heck — I’m on a cruise with my daughter — so nothing much will happen.

    Boy — was I wrong.

    I put myself out there and had a bunch of fun in the karaoke lounge and decided to join the fun up on stage.

    Now, being 40 years old, I really don’t put any sort of age restrictions on myself. So my daughter and I began hanging out with the 27 year old karaoke host for most of the entire cruise and even after she shut it down. I’ll keep the remainder of the details to myself 😛

    So was she a hottie? I’ll let you be the judge:

    It’s all about confidence and really just treating all hot women equally as you would not so hot ones.

    Be a real person — don’t try to impress one bit — in fact, being humble is the best way to go — and finally, expect an outcome that you can envision in your mind (her being with YOU).

    Once that mindset gets anchored into your nervous system — you just go on auto-pilot and I did not use a darn bit of PUA stuff on this gal — I was just my flirty self. 😉

    I just can’t wait to put your IIM stuff to work on the net. It’s gonna rock!

    I think 2011 is gonna be a bust out year for me and overshadow those 12 years of marriage that had me yawning toward the end. 😀


    Comment by Jim — @ 1:27 PM

  4. I had never wrote about article, but this one was out of the world.. Self-expectancy, that’s what I wanted since then.

    Self-expectancy depends on several things one of most important things is the environment: friends, the people that you work with and the mode of family. if you could be familiar with all these difficulties, then most likely your mind will be willing to improve the self-expectancy.

    one of my thing to increase my positive self-expectancy is by refreshing my mind that I\’m the man the prize, THAT EVERY WOMEN IN THE WORLD WANT, that’s really eventuality make me confidant because I\’m sure that not easy to be a man, but you have to be proud of yourself because God have already gave you the way to be a Man.

    Comment by Aboody — @ 5:10 PM

  5. Yes,a positive altitude is always important.Hard at times,also necessary.You are more likely to accomplish your goal if you believe you can.However,perhaps it should be remember there are some women you may be better off not getting and vice-versa.Ha.

    Comment by James — @ 8:07 PM

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    Pingback by Tweets that mention This Little Known Mental Hack Attracts Women For You | Internet Dating -- — @ 9:14 AM

  7. awesome comments guys…. ALL the naturals I’ve met share this positive expectancy thing… all of them.

    if you don’t believe its gonna happen, then yeah, its NOT gonna happen.

    keep the comments coming.

    Comment by Dave M. — @ 1:34 PM

  8. That is the problem with NLP. You memorize all this stuff and jump through hoops to basically trick women into fucking you. If you believe they are worth that kind of effort you are putting it on a pedestal for sure, whether you have some way of justifying it in your mind or not. If there were ever four words of advice I could give somebody, the most four powerful out there when it comes to having success with women it, would be STOP GIVING A FUCK.

    Don’t get me wrong. I mean the only thing you should care about is you, you should dress good, smell nice, exercise and take care of yourself — all good ways of improving your confidence level BTW — but when it comes to her, what you’re going to say or did say to her, what she is going to say or did say to you, if you upset her, if she likes you, if she doesn’t like you, etc STOP GIVING A FUCK. You want to ignore those thoughts or just turn them into a joke, etc.

    Comment by Bulldozer — @ 11:43 AM

  9. Great comment from Bulldozer there. I don’t think anyone could have put it better than that. As for this whole mind set that Dave is talking about – again, couldn’t agree more. Most people I speak to say “she’s lucky” or “he’s lucky” – bollocks, we all get the same amount of luck.
    You’re responsible for generating your experience of reality and after reading what P.Diddy said (above), it’s no wonder he’s had such a ridiculous amount of success.

    Comment by Wheeler — @ 9:10 AM

  10. I am a powerful, passionate, sexy man…..I will get what I ask for – because I see it happen before it does…and I make it so……..

    Comment by Bill O — @ 7:39 AM

  11. Good blog,Dave.This is the real problem most of the time.A lack of confidence.You are more likely to accomplish something if you believe you can.If you do not,believe you can,keep telling yourshelf you can until you really believe it.If one woman do not like you,who cares?There are plenty of fish in the fish.One will eventually.

    Comment by James — @ 4:12 PM

  12. Funny I usually use the “law of expectancy” on the women. Never really thought about using it on myself. Just think I always have naturally.

    My Grandmother was a pro at this one. It was one thing that kept me ‘perfect’. She always expected the best out of me in the most loving way. And trust me to do the right thing by saying that she knows I will. And if I told her a story about something bad, she’d say that it wasn’t like me at all.

    So maybe I integrated it from her.

    Yeah off subject but still. It is a great concept. I loved her so much.
    She was like my Love Island in the middle of the Wartime of my youth.

    Now lets go work on ourselves

    Comment by Jonny — @ 11:46 AM

  13. It sounds cool for me.I actley like what Bill o said tho!.(Thats cool).Its not bad for my self tho cause i got friends at work just to talk to.Talk about whatever on there minds.

    Comment by Jack — @ 12:54 PM

  14. OMG. Exactly right. I always end up putting woman on a pedestal and then I ruin it! I always try to rush things with woman too. Calm down and be cool…and stop over thinking things! Damn it. Acting like a eager little chimpmunk getting his first nut. Thanks for the reminder Dave.

    Comment by Vinny — @ 11:58 AM

  15. Dued, your awesome… you’ve have literally showed the error of my ways and now I will be 10 times better at picking up girls… Thank you so much. I’m am now gonna “ask” this chick out. That is what you showed me to do KNOW that she will say yes and KNOW that she will become my girlfriend. I will post back with my results.

    Comment by Dylan — @ 8:09 PM

  16. Big ups for the info, Dave M!

    Comment by Erik — @ 10:01 PM

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